Archive for the 'Funny' Category

My 25

January 29th, 2009 :: Misc., Sam, Life, Star Wars, Funny, Joy

I finally gave in to the most recent reindeer game on Facebook. This turned out to be an enjoyable effort.

  • 1. Despite countless hours spent gaming up until I was 18 or 19 years old, and the successful completion and mastery of many games, I have never defeated Mike Tyson in the Nintendo classic bearing his name.
  • 2. I drive to Dunkin Donuts just about every morning to feed both my own addiction to hazelnut flavored coffee, and my Labrador’s daily scarfing of a single glazed munchkin. The drool is nearly unbearable – his too.
  • 3. I’ve read more in the last five years than the preceding 27 combined.
  • 4. I’m an avid enthusiast of digital camouflage.
  • 5. My proudest moment as a musician was entering the Ryman auditorium from the performer’s side entrance before playing on the Opry. I still have the sticker on my case.
  • 6. I once owned over 40 flannel shirts from Abercrombie & Fitch – back when their clothing had its last fading remnant of class – not that flannel imparts classiness.
  • 7. I very rarely hear humans expressing rational thoughts on the radio.
  • 8. John Mayer’s Continuum would be one of my desert island albums. How extremely rare to find an artist with intellectually rich penmanship, a soulful voice, and instrumental aptitude that’s so highly esteemed.
  • 9. I spent nearly ten years of my childhood racing go-karts at the state and national level.
  • 10. My wife and I are just about polar opposites. Sam will definitely have an array of ideas and attitudes to emulate.
  • 11. I’ve never liked my hair. It’s curly when it’s long, straight when it’s short and I have both a cow-lick and a bald spot from a birthmark. I tried clippers in high school once. Unfortunately the anthropometric summary of my head represents a mathematical anomaly - of which hair is a necessary mitigating agent. Extracting physical appearance as a component of my self-esteem has been a wonderfully rewarding endeavor.
  • 12. I think Google Maps, with its current feature set and considering the nature of the web as a software platform, is the single most impressive application I’ve ever used.
  • 13. As a 12 year-old I had growing pains so badly on one occasion that I literally could not walk.
  • 14. I was oblivious to the potential amount of joy and love that a human can sense until the birth of my son.
  • 15. One of my 10-year goals (5 years ago) is to have a fully functional, CNC-enabled machine and woodworking shop at home – It’s currently about 2/3 complete.
  • 16. I think America has seen her brightest days.
  • 17. Bach’s Prelude No. 1 is my favorite classical piece.
  • 18. I’m currently learning to weld and sew.
  • 19. Only once in my life did I encounter what athletes refer to as “the zone.” I don’t subscribe to any form of the supernatural, but that one-hour period of time will forever standout an inexplicable breach of my consciousness and actions.
  • 20. On a 2006 music trip to Europe, Air France “misplaced” about 20K dollars worth of our irreplaceable guitars and gear for 24 hours.
  • 21. I used to make light sabers using flashlights and green poster board. Luke was a pansy when he carried the blue one - I chose to emulate excellence.
  • 22. I think I could enjoy being a truck driver because there would be plenty of time for music, audio books and introspection, but I couldn’t handle the time away from home.
  • 23. I think humans are fundamentally moral, but after being battered by irrationalism for thousands of years, today one has to really develop and nurture a mindset of independent and critical thinking to hold any aspiration of escape from the clutches of modern philosophy.
  • 24. In a streak that ended cold in 2007, I’ve consumed an estimated10,000 pop-tarts.
  • 25. I think every individual is capable of more than they realize. With focus and mental discipline the human mind is capable of immense achievement.

Ambush Journalism

October 28th, 2008 :: Crooks, Funny, Thugs, Evasion

It’s about time.


Their accusations are examples of the type of corruption that blurs all party lines, but what a joy seeing this looter squirm.

Great Questions

October 26th, 2008 :: Collectivism, Crooks, Funny

Typically evasive answers. Very entertaining!


I’ve thought that if ever in the position to ask a single question to these crooks in a public venue I would ask the following: “If you had to steer the United States to either full Communism, or Laissez-faire Capitalism, which would it be? One word answer please.”

I don’t think they could muster the intellectual fortitude to respond with either answer. The former would betray any guise of freedom or rights they wear, and the latter would risk their appearance as a greedy, self-centered profit-chaser. Not to mention the contradictory light that would be cast upon their political records if they claimed to be an advocate of Capitalism. I think the panic from an evasive sensual overload would send smoke pouring from their ears. Now that would be a question worth asking!

Humorous Google Brilliance

September 2nd, 2008 :: Philosophy, Rights, Funny

Here’s an overview of their new open-source browser Chrome. The cartoons are hilarious and the ones depicting frustration are acutely appropriate. Chrome looks to be potential for tremendous advance for web based technology.

google-chrome-screenshot.jpg

If only Google would integrate a sound philosophy into their business model; one that doesn’t condone the trampling of property rights and clearly understands the proper role of Government. Given their record of casually using GovCo. as a business tool, it’s only a matter of time until I’ll no longer be able to leverage their incredible ingenuity in good conscience.

The tragic reality is they don’t need to hire GovCo. thugs to be successful, or even to dominate. They’re brilliant, innovative and have the requisite assets to achieve whatever they can imagine.

This ties into my larger amazement with how philosophically lacking individuals can be successful businessmen. My first thought is that Capitalism, even the fumes of it, create such economic opportunity that virtually anyone can profit from thought and action, and despite other moral shortcomings. Even a wealthy individual that became such honestly might steal if lacking the proper view of existence. More later.

Update: GovCo. is a neologism coined by Keith Larson, a local reality-minded talk-radio personality. Essentially it represents government acting beyond its proper scope, especially in a self-perpetuating manner, i.e., a government concerned with expanding itself (the way a private company would operate). As used above, I refer to Google hiring Government (via lobbying, taxes, who knows what else) to abuse its monopoly of the use of force as a means to some business (private) concern. Anytime a private enterprise leverages illegitimate Government power to violate rights of others, as if it were merely commissioning the services of another private company, the term GovCo. is fitting.

Of course it’s blatantly ironic to refer to our Government as an entity bound by the just laws of economics (existence, identity, causality etc.) - but this only adds to the sarcastic charm of the term.

If The Other Side Won

August 21st, 2008 :: Star Wars, Socialism, Funny, Fascism
JamesArk2.jpg

Full read here.

Firefox 3 Memory Footprint

July 30th, 2008 :: Misc., Funny

I did have 22 tabs open, but seriously…  950MB?

Firefox 3

Vision Of The Annointed (One)

July 30th, 2008 :: Funny

Oh my - the brilliance…

The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.

Please read the whole thing.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/gerard_baker/article4392846.ece

Dog Humor

June 21st, 2008 :: Funny, Pets

Courtesy of Noodlefood.



Simple Humor

June 20th, 2008 :: Inconspicuous Satire, Funny

This makes me giggle ==> hope-change-future